Responding In Faith

Well, despite all the new info that is rolling around our heads and all the change that is going on with ACFI (for the better ), we have heard some very comforting news.  Kristi from ACFI said that she spoke with the workers in Liberia and they have spoken with someone who knows where a family member of our boys is.  Kristi thinks that it is possible for the relinquishment’s to happen within the next 2 weeks!!  That would be so great!!  I am going to keep thinking positive about this but I do need to remember that “This is Africa!”  It would be really great if this happened, though.  You see, my precious Hannah told me just last week that she felt like God told her that it was going to happen in 2 to 4 weeks.  She has been quite adamant about this!

I think that is so neat for Hannah.  She is only 8 years old.  I pray each day that God will allow my children to hear His voice at a young age.  We encourage our children to walk in faith and to speak to God often.  It brings me such joy to hear her talk like this.  I know that she is growing in the Lord and that just brings such happiness to my heart.

Deuteronomy 30:20 says, “and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him.  For the Lord is your life, and He will give you many years in the land He swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.”  John 10:27 says, “My sheep listen to My voice; I know them, and they follow Me.”  God wants us to hear Him.  He wants to whisper sweet words into our hearts.  He longs to have a relationship with each and everyone of us!

I know Hannah has a close relationship with God.  She is a little prayer warrior and she prays daily for her Liberian brothers.  It does not surprise me at all that she has heard quiet whispers on her heart.  She has a deep faith for her age.  We can learn so much from the little ones around us!  God can speak through them in ways we could have never thought of.

Please join Hannah in her prayers that the relinquishment happens within the next couple of weeks!  I know we have lots of prayer warriors out there!!!  Let them rise up to our Heavenly Father!!!

When we first started our adoption process, we were working with an agency called Children Concern.  Children Concern handled the adoptions for ACFI.  For whatever reason, Children Concerned and ACFI went their seperate ways.  ACFI has been in search of a new agency to take over on the American side to handle their adoption cases.  This has really been a roller coaster for us and lots of uncertainity about what was going on.  Through it all we have prayed earnestly, asking God to guide us on this adventure that He has called us to.  We knew that Samuel, Jeremiah and Joel were the chosen ones for our family, so we kept pressing forward!

Just this week we found out that the new agency has been chosen and ACFI and the new agency have worked out all the details on the transfer.  The new agency is called Plan Loving Adoptions Now, Inc. and they are located in Oregon.  We have heard nothing but wonderful things about this agency.  They have in the past worked with ACFI and have been doing Liberian adoptions for quite some time.  Through PLAN we are supposed to have a quicker turn around time.  I have heard from some that they can happen as quickly as 6 to 8 months.  This would be so great!!! 

Of course, with this change, comes additional fees.  This is from the memo that we received from ACFI:

PLAN has many years of experience and commitment to working in Liberia.  With this experience comes the knowledge of the importance of helping families prepare to welcome these children into their adoptive families.  PLAN has prepared a course, tailored to address some of the issues of institutional children from a war torn country. PLAN’s preadopt course costing $150.00 is required or families must give proof of other pre-adoption education.

3)      The out of state agency fee to PLAN is $3,800. An additional fee of $2,000 per child will be charged. These fees will go directly to PLAN and includes help filing the I-600, ongoing support, all communication and coordination with the adoption personnel in Liberia and expenses to finish the legal process in Liberia.  These fees do not include travel or escort fees.

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         There are still some things that we need clarification on, but from what we are understanding, we will be having an additional $10,145 in fees (this includes the $195 application fee).  This really took us back at first, but then when we started looking at the scheme of things, we realized that it still isn’t too bad.  The entire adoption will cost us around $25,145 plus travel expenses.  That is for 3 children.  That is typically the cost of adopting one child in China. 

While we were tallying these new costs, we were starting to have some doubts cross our minds.  Just questioning and wondering what we were supposed to do.  A friend on a Liberian loop that I am on, said to me,  “What is $10,000 to God?! ”  God knows what He has called us to do, and He will bring in the money!!  That was a big wake up call for me!  I was starting to get anxious and let worry set in.  Another friend gave me this verse and it was just what I needed to hear:

This comes from Isaiah Chapter 41:

I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you.  I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you.  So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you;  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (versus 9-10)  For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (verse 13)

Oh, the sweet words of our Heavenly Father!!!  He so knows the words I need to hear during different trials in my life!  God has called us to be His servants.  He has called us to go to the other side of the world to bring home three beautiful boys.  Boys that He has specifically chosen for us!  We are not to fear because He is right there with us.  We are not to be dismayed because He is our God!  My God will give me strength to get through the finish line.  We are not to fear any of this because this is just another hurdle to leap over and to walk through in faith!  And to top it all off, He says, “I will help you.”  You see, this adoption is all about my God and how we can give Him glory through out the entire process!  God is so much bigger then that additional $10,000!  He wants us to see that!

I am filled with such excitement as I read over that passage again!  Is God not AWESOME!!  Some times I forget who is in control, but God always straightens me out.  I hope that you can take these words from Isaiah and apply them to your life and the different trials that you may be facing in your life.  God is always there for us.  But so many times we tend to turn to Him as a last resort when all else has failed.  I challenge you to try just the opposite.  Let God take the lead.  Let Him have control over your life and your fears.  He wants to help you and be there for you.  It says it right there in His Word.  Read that passage again and pray it to God.  Allow Him to take the lead in your life.

Thank you again for all your prayers and support!  We love all of you!

On April the 25 we had a wonderful turn out at our church.  I think there was around 10 of us.  We worked on personalized stationary, cards, “doggie” necklaces, bracelets, aprons, and travel jewelry holders.  Everyone arrived at 6:00pm and stayed until 9:00pm.  It was great fun.  Hannah and I really enjoyed it.  I do believe it is more fun to work together as a group then by ourselves!  Thanks so much to everyone who helped!  We really appreciated all the work.  It was so neat to see everyone working so hard for a common goal…even the ones who were working on the tedious little doggie necklaces!!! 

That reminds me of a verse found in Colossians, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,” (3:23).  It has been so neat to see our church family, friends and family come together to help us reach this common goal of bringing our boys home!!  That is what adoption is all about.  This is all about the Lord’s calling on our family and everyone coming together to make it a reality!!  Thanks to everyone who have helped to support us financially, spiritually through prayers and helping with fundraisers.  We greatly appreciate it!!

Here are a few pictures from our work night!!  Hope you enjoy!

Kathleen Hartzler

Pauline Godshall working on cards!

Kim Godshall working with her mom on cards

Margaret and Jane working on those wonderful little “doggie” necklaces!  We better sell everyone of those!

Great Grandma came and helped string beads!!

Here is Mandy, my sister, making her “Aprons for Adoptions”.  Isn’t she so cute!?

Hannah was hard at work making cards!  She did a great job and had lots of help from Amy (who was extremely camera shy that night!!)

Also present was Evangeline….oops, sorry, I didn’t get her picture!!

Thanks so much ladies!!!

Money for the adoption.  It seems like so much.  When people ask me about the costs, they look at me and I can read their minds, “Why would you spend that kind of money for a kid?”  I can see those thoughts racing through their minds.  I quickly respond with, “It is actually one of the cheapest countries you can adopt from.”  Not that that makes any difference.  Sometimes I get overwelmed when I sit and think about all that has to be raised and saved.  But I try not to think about that too much.  You see, Russell and I were given a vision from God.  A vision for this adoption.  A vision for a particular adoption….one from Liberia.  It is hard to explain to my little ones that we aren’t buying their brothers.  My little ones don’t quite understand the term court fees and expenses.  It is all just a jumble of words.  Words that mean bought for a price.

I was reading 1 Peter this morning during my “quiet” time.  (I have to hide in my closet for that)  It really got me thinking about how I was purchased when God adopted me.  “For you know that it was not with perishable things such as sliver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect,” (1 Peter 1:18-19).  The Son of God was given for my adoption!  He shed His blood for me; for my eternal soul.  Me.  Someone so unworthy and undeserving.  My Jesus gave up His whole life, the world that He loved, for me.  How did I ever rank?  But God saw something inside of me, something worth giving His only Son for.  Is that not the most amazing love you could ever think of?

1 Peter 1 goes on to say, “[L]ove one another deeply, from the heart.  For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God,” (22-23).  I looked up the word imperishable in the Webster 1828 dictionary.  Imperishable means “enduring permanently; indestructible; not subject to decay.”  So through God and His word I will endure permanently.  The seed that He planted in my heart will grow and flourish if I feed it the water of my living Jesus!  I am a new person through Christ.  One that continues to enlarge my internal being, one who grows in the beautiful splendor of my King. 

Don’t get me wrong, there are times in my life that my growth is not as rapid and beautiful.  There are times when I hit a drought and turn away the living water of Jesus.  Those can be some of my darkest hours.  But then God nudges me and says, “Wake up!!  I’m giving you a second chance!”  I hear that calling and I know that I must obey.  I must obey because I know what it feels like to have Jesus’ living water flowing through me.  Once you taste it, you want more.  I want my cup to be overflowing so that I can share it with others.  Now that brings me joy!

Have you thought about how God bought you?  In your quiet time today I encourage you to think about the imperishable seed that God has planted in you.  That seed was planted for a price….the price of God’s only Son!  Let His living water flow through you and cleanse your heart getting all the way down to the deepest of wounds.  Imagine yourself on a mountain side with God’s grace and mercy flowing down upon you.  Hands raised to the heavens with every breath shouting to our Lord, “How Great is my God!!”  He has offered us a love so great and only waits for us to take it!  Don’t turn away this gift, for you were bought for a price!

Yes, our boys are being purchased for a price that includes court fees, travel fees, doctor fees, etc.  Fees that amount to a finalized paper that gives them a new name, a new forever family and a new country to call home.  It is also about sacrifice on our parts.  The willingness to take what God has blessed us with and give it back so that our boys can grow up in a home that knows God and grow up with our church family so that they too can share God’s love with them.  My hopes would be that one day my boys will understand that their heavenly Father gave so much more for them.  I love my boys so much.  I would pay any amount to save the life of any of my children in my home now.  Why would I not pay any amount for the children that God has birthed in my heart?  They are our gift from God.

Hey Everyone!!!  I am so excited!  I had a wonderful Easter gift on Sunday.  Some new photos of our boys!  They fill my tummy with butterflies!!!  I am so excited!!

Here is our precious Joel.  It is so nice to see him with a beautiful smile on his face!

Joel and Aubrey are the same age.  It looks like he has lost the same teeth that Aubrey has!!

Here is Jeremiah.  He looks a little older then his previous picture.  I think he and Austin will have fun climbing trees together.  I think he looks like a tree climber like Austin!!  I’m sure the two of them will be best of friends.

Here is Samuel.  Doesn’t he have a beautiful smile?  He is a very handsome young man!  Anthony is excited to have a brother his age.

Please continue to pray for the relinquishment to happen quickly.  The quicker it happens the quicker their case goes to court. 

Financial update:  We have $2126.00 towards our next $7500.00.  This has come from a couple of donations and our putting money aside into our savings.  We probably have around $50.00 in our money jar as well.  Anthony had a clown gig this past weekend and made $25.00.  Aubrey sold a bracelet for $5.00.  The kids have enjoyed contributing to the adoption.  I think Hailey is pulling teeth on purpose because her papa will give her a dollar and she puts it straight into the adoption bucket!!  If you have seen her smile lately she doesn’t have many teeth!! 

Please continue to pray for our financial situation.  We have a long way to go.  I know that God is watching over all of this.  We are moving that mountain a small piece at a time. 

Thanks to everyone for their continued prayers and support!

My greatest desire has been to follow the will of my Heavenly Father.  That hasn’t always been my desire.  There have been times in my life when I wanted to follow my own desires, my own selfish wants.  Those have been the times in my life when I have walked the farthest from my Lord.  Those were times when I plugged my ears to God’s voice and sang loudly to myself, “La La La La!”  Those were the times in my life when my heart was filled with darkness and shame.  I was always searching.  Searching for something to fill that void in my life.  Searching for pleasures that could never meet my souls deepest need. 

I went through a period in my life when my heart could not hear God’s voice.  I think at times I even wondered if God truly existed, if He was just another fairy tale that wasn’t going to come true.  My heart was hard.    I was blind.  I was deaf.  Then one day God’s mercy and grace flowed over me like showers from heaven!  I saw God with new eyes.  I heard God’s voice with new ears.  My heart was overflowing with the spirit of my Lord.  I became a new creation!  Praise the Lord.  My darkness turned to light and my cup overfloweth!  I asked God to search my heart and my mind.  I asked Him to show me His way, not mine.  1 John 5:14-15 states, “And this is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.  And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.”

I began to hear God in a new way.  I quieted my heart and heard His voice and His desires for my life.  I heard a song recently that stated, “The days we are given are His from above.”  My outlook on life has changed.  My desires are for what God desires from me.  Each day is a gift from my Heavenly Father.  I must honor Him and follow His will for my life. 

It is sometimes hard being a mother of five and I’m sure it will be even harder to be a mother of eight.  Some days are very trying and I get tired and worn out, but then God gives me the strength and energy that I need to keep moving forward.  I find my energy from receiving God’s joy.  “Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength,” (Nehemiah 8:10). 

I have learned to quiet my inner spirit.  To quiet myself so that I can feel God’s presence!  Oh, what joy fills my inner most being!  When I open my eyes I see things differently.  God has asked Russell and I to bring in orphaned children and children who have been tossed aside by birth parents.  We chose to follow God’s calling on our lives.  Oh, how He has blessed us.  I can see this desire growing in our children.  They speak of adopting one day.  They see us listening to God’s calling and they are seeking God’s will at a young age. 

So has my desires changed?  Yes!  My desires are my Heavenly Father’s desires.  Some may look at us and shake their heads, not understanding.  I have learned that I am not here on this earth to please anyone.  I am here to please my Heavenly Daddy.  My Heavenly Daddy looks down at me and I know He smiles.  There are days when I can feel His smiles.  I may not always recieve the smiles that I so long for from my earthly father, but I know that my Heavenly Father is pleased with my humble attempts to follow His plan. 

Is that not why all of us are here?  We are here to fulfill the will of God.  He longs for us to be obedient in this.  So yes, my desires are my Daddy’s desires.  I can hear Him say, “I love you, my daughter.”  This makes me smile on the inside and out.  Is it easy to follow God’s way.  No, it’s not always easy, but it gives me something to strive towards each day.  Will there be hard times ahead?  Yes.  But I have strength through my Lord.  My God is Holy.  His glory is all around me.  Praise the Lord!

Have you seen this movie?  I highly recommend it!  It is NOT a movie for kids.  I watched this last night or should I say early this morning.  I cried myself to sleep.  I guess it may not have that effect  on everyone who watches it, but it had it on me.  I just finished reading the book Where Children Cry and the movie just added to the visual images I was already having of what happened during the Liberian Civil War.  Although the movie takes place in Sierra Leone, they do speak of Liberia which is the neighboring country south east of Sierra Leone.

Rebel groups did the same thing in Liberia.  Complete blood shed!  At the end of the movie they write that there are still over 200,000 soldier children in Africa.  My heart goes out to these children!  They are brain washed and completely loose their childhood innocence.  It is not only the child soldier that looses his innocence, but also the child who has seen and been a part of the war!  So much taken away, so much lost, so much to never be returned!  I can not even imagine!

But through it all, I must trust that God has and continues to protect my boys’ hearts!  God can heal those deep wounds that they have in the pit of their very being.  Wounds of abandonment, wounds of death, wounds of starvation, wounds of a lost childhood! 

Psalm 55 speaks of casting your burdens upon the Lord:

My heart is in anguish within me,

And the terrors of death have fallen upon me.

Fear and trembling come upon me;

And horror has overwhelmed me.

And I said, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove!

I would fly away and be at rest…..

Cast your burden upon the Lord, and

He will sustain you;

He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.

But Thou, O God, wilt bring them down to the pit of destruction;

Men of bloodshed and deceit will not live out half their days.

But I will trust in Thee. (4-6, 22-23)

I must trust that God has cast away all of their burdens.  I must trust that He has given them wings like a dove so that their internal being is free from all that has happened.  God is so big!  He can dig deep into our inner souls and heal us from the deepest wounds.  His love is so amazing.  He longs for us to cast our burdens upon Him so that He may heal us!  I pray that my boys understand the power of prayer and that they are down on their knees thanking God for His amazing love.  I know God’s power is great and His healing is an amazing thing.  “I will put my trust in Him,” (Hebrews 2:13).  For it is not my burden to carry, nor my boys.  We are to lay all our burdens at the foot of the cross and let our Savior take them.  I pray that God has already healed my boys from their deep wounds.  I pray that you, too, will cast your burdens upon Christ and receive His many blessings.

No, exciting news to report.  This is the part that challenges us!  The not knowing and the waiting patiently that tugs at my heart daily.  I am a new mother, a mother of three new boys, but I haven’t even gotten to breathe them in yet.  They are a part of our daily lives, although they are not physically here yet.  When we go out, I constantly count my children….1,2,3,4,5….there is someone missing!  Or should I say there are three missing.  Samuel, Jeremiah and Joel are part of our daily lives.  They are daily in our prayers and daily a topic around the kitchen table!

This past weekend, we went camping up in the mountains.  It was a pleasant get away.  Nice to be in the great outdoors.  The children love to go camping.  They love every aspect of it…the insects, the snakes, reptiles, the campfire…..But their favorite thing is their Daddy telling them stories around the campfire!  This weekend we had a new experience.  Our Hannah caught her first fish!  A beautiful brook trout.  It didn’t take much, a cane pole, a bread ball and perfect timing!  She dropped her hook in the river and not 30 seconds later she was yelling…..”I caught a fish!”  She was a very proud little girl.   Of course we forgot the camera, but the memories in our minds will always be there.

While Russell was cleaning the fish, the kids were poking at the head and touching the eyes!  “Samuel, Jeremiah and Joel would love this!  They could have fish head soup!”  was the reply of one of the kids.  YUCK!  But from what we hear, the eyes taste pretty sweet.  Can’t say I have ever tried them or even want to try them.  From what we have heard, to our Liberian boys, it may be a special treat!  Our whole weekend was filled with comments and wonders.  We were all wondering what our boys would think of camping.  We had lots of laughter and loads of new memories to carry inside for years to come!

However, on the other side of our campground, there was not much laughter.  Another family had arrived at the campground that same Friday.  They had two beautiful children, an eight year old boy and an almost three year old little girl.  My heart aches for these children.  I do not think that they have very many fun memories as a family.  The father spoke very abusively to these two precious children.  There may have been not only verbal abuse, but I am almost positive there was physical abuse.  The father’s words were sharp like a two edged sword.  Our own children looked at us with fear in their eyes.  I have never heard anyone speak to a child the way that man did.  It broke my heart.

His words reminded me of a scripture in Colossians 4:6, “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned, as if were, with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person.”  I guess I should have gone and poured a little salt over our neighbor!  His words were not seasoned, but spoiled.  Not only were they spoiled, they left a horrible taste in his children’s hearts.  The Bible speaks of building each other up and not tearing each other down.  In Proverbs 16:24 it says, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

I know there are times throughout each day when my words do not flow like honey from my lips.  I need not be so quick to speak.  If I take my time and think each word out clearly in my mind, I can take the time to season each of my words.  Words can never be taken back so I need to make sure each word is seasoned just right so that each word will reflect my Savior.

Fish eyes may taste sweet to the tongues of our precious Liberian boys, but I pray that my words will always be words that are “sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”  I pray that those two precious children at the campground will one day get to taste words so sweet.  I pray that all of us will use our words to lift each other up and not make each feel guilty or hurt or torn down.  Lord help us to use our words to reflect You!