Responding In Faith

“Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.” Psalm127:3-5

“Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in His ways. You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. Thus is the man blessed who fears the Lord.” Psalm 128:1-3

Just this past week, after a long three year process, our Austin Michael is finally “legally” a Schweighardt! But he has been a Schweighardt from day one. His adoption was finalized on August 16, 2007!! Just a few short days ago, August 22, 2007, we received a phone call from social services telling us that the two beautiful girls we met back in June of 2007 were going to be our forever children! We are so excited about this! This is a legal risk adoption at this point, but we do not feel like we have anything to fear. God has orchestrated this beautifully and we know that it is in His hands! And yes, we are still bringing our boys home from Liberia! I spoke with Siede today and the social workers are working on the boys’ investigation. Please pray that they can get this done quickly!

When we share our wonderful news with people, they look at us like we are crazy! “10 Children! You are stopping, right?” This is our typical response. But my response is, “It is in God’s hands!” God has brought each of our children to us. We did not go searching for them. God had a plan. A plan that He laid out long ago! “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Jeremiah 29:11-12. God has blessed me with children through birth and adoption. I was able to give birth to three beautiful children, and I have one up in heaven whom I am anxious to meet one day! Because of the way my body was created, God decided to continue to bless us with children through adoption! Adoption was always plan A, NEVER plan B!

We love having a big family and pray that God will continue to bless our family as He sees fit. I want our children to be like olive shoots around the table. You see the olive tree reproduces by sending up shoots from its roots. If not trimmed they surround the trunk. We want to have lots of children surrounding us just as the Psalmist describes the children around the table! God calls children blessings and describes children as gifts from the Lord and as rewards. The children are a huge responsibility and require a great amount of self sacrifice. But the blessings of the children out weigh all of that! God will provide for all of our needs and all of our children’s needs. We put our faith and trust in our Lord Jesus Christ. God is so good!

So I ask you, as you look at our growing family, not to think that we are irresponsible or unbalanced, but look at us as followers of Christ who are so blessed to have our quiver full of children. For we are truly blessed.

I recently read an article that Dr. Dobson had in his monthly magazine about supporting parents who provide foster care. The article was entitled Supporting Foster Families by Linda Riley. It was a well written article. I know in the past they have also had articles on adoption. The article spoke of the 650,000 children that are in foster care nationwide and spoke of how the church, family and friends can help provide support to them. I am not sure if you can read it, but Focus on the Family has a number of resources and articles online that you can read about adoption and foster care.

Adding older children to our family is just like adding an infant. It is actually more work because we have so much to learn about our new family members and have to be careful not to overwhelm them. So in that process, our daily routine gets a little off schedule, the house falls a part some, meals aren’t always on time (we may actually just be eating what we can find!), and laundry gets piled up. I am not super mom by any means! I know some people look at me and all I do and think that “She can do it all!” I can’t do it all. I count on the Lord for my strength and encouragement.

I also count on friends and family for support in our efforts. I want to thank Kathleen for calling me and asking if she could help in any way on Sunday!! Thank you! It was very much appreciated! I also want to thank Chuck for offering to give up time on Saturday to help with the yard (we know how busy you are and your offer meant a lot!). I also want to thank my sweet and dear friend Melissa! Bless you! She has 6 beautiful children whom the Lord has blessed her with through adoption. Five of these children are ages 5 and under! Your prayers mean so much to me. I can’t forget my dear friend, Jennifer, who loves to help me clean and organize. I would be so lost without you. And of course, my sweet, baby sis, Mandy. I love you and appreciate all you do to help. And thank you to my prayer friend in Florida! Stacy is on her knees daily for our growing family! On the outside I may look like I am doing fine, but on the inside I am a bit frazzled! It takes time to adjust.

I say this not just for me, but for any family around you that is a foster care parent or an adoptive family. Whether they are small or large. It takes a lot to do the things we all do. Support from those around you means the world. It could be as small as going to the person’s home and helping to prepare dinner, blessing the family with a dessert for after the evening meal, offering a pizza coupon, helping with laundry, be an active prayer partner, throw an adoption shower and treat the family with gift certificates! Think of ways that you can be supportive. Adoption and foster care parents are reaching out in faith and listening to God’s calling on their lives. Help support them in creative ways! It really does mean a lot to all of us!

God Bless and have a wonderful day!

Kids and Aunt Mone!  Anthony, Hannah, Brandy, Aubrey, Carol Jean, Aunt Mone, Orion (my nephew) , Hailey, Austin

“I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
He set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the Lord.

Blessed is the man
who makes the Lord his trust,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.
Many, O Lord my God,
are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us
no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare.” Psalm 40:1-5

God is so good. I am learning each day to lean more and more on Him. There are times when my patience grows thin in my waiting on the Lord. And like a three year old I start whining and throwing temper tantrums. I cry out to God, “I want it now!” But He ever so gently speaks to my heart and tells me to sit back, be still and wait. Oh, the waiting can seem like an eternity. And sometimes with all the waiting, I let myself start sinking into a slimy pit. I lose sight of my Heavenly Father and start thinking as the world does. But then something amazing happens, God lifts me up out of that pit of self pity and sets my feet on a solid rock. Then new songs of praise flow from my tongue and I dance for joy and humbly come to my Father asking for forgiveness for losing trust and faith in what He had promised me.

A little over a month and a half ago, Russell and I received a phone call from social services about two little girls. We had time to pray and consult with our Heavenly Father about them. At the time we did not feel any direction, so we continued to seek the Lord and make arrangements to meet them. Two days before we met them, I continued to pray and seek the Lord. It was at the time during my morning prayers that I felt the girls “birthed in my heart”. (I’m not sure if you can understand what I mean. Women can birth a child from their womb, but an adopted child is birthed in the heart. ) I shared this with Russell and I could sense a bit of excitement building up in him.

The day arrived for us to meet the girls. I had never been so excited and scared before. I knew this was a gift from God. Russ and I met the girls and we both fell in love! We scheduled another visit for the children to meet them as well. They hit it off well! We were all so excited and then everything stopped. We didn’t understand what was going on. Social services informed us that there were some new family members that “popped up” and they had to investigate. Everything was on hold.

I prayed some more. I clearly heard God say to me, “Sit back and wait. Trust in me.” I felt very calm. I was ok with that. Russ was not. Russ usually is always patient and not anxious. But this time he became anxious about the girls. Each week he wanted me to contact social services and find out what was going on. I told him that God just wanted us to sit back and wait. But as the weeks past by, I too became doubtful that the girls would ever come.

Last week I cried out to God, “Lord, I know I heard your voice so clearly. You birthed these girls in my heart. Did I hear you wrong? Lord, I am so confused! What is it you want me to do?” On Friday of last week, I took Baby “B” for a visit with his mommy. While he was back at his visit, one of the supervising social workers called me back to her office. She wanted me to talk with Baby “B”’s grandmother on the phone. After I spoke with her, I felt this sudden impulse to ask about the girls. I really was scared of what I’d hear, but felt like I was supposed to. So bravely I asked her about the girls. She said that the last family member had been ruled out and was wondering if we were still interested? “OH, YES!”

So this brings us to present day…Yesterday was a bittersweet day! Baby “B” left to go live with an aunt! My heart ached so much. But I know that God will watch over him. After receiving the news of losing our precious boy, we received a phone call saying that the girls would be moving in this weekend! We have them for the day and night today. Then on Friday they go back to their foster care home. On Saturday they move in!

They do not know yet that we are to be their forever family. The social workers will talk with them tomorrow. I pray that God will prepare their hearts and know that this is where He is calling them to be. So once again, our family is growing. We lost one blessing, but gained two! God is so good! Many are the wonders He has done for this family. These are things that He has planned long ago. I find when I am faithful to my Lord, that He does truly bless me for that. His praises I sing for the whole world to hear. How great is my God!!!

Yes, my heart aches for our precious Baby “B”, but he is in God’s hands. Please pray for him….his name is Bryan!

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

This week I have been studying Paul and his message to the Corinthians.  It really got me to thinking and looking back on my life and the different hardships I have been through.  Like Paul, it has been during some of my weakest points that I have been made my strongest.  It is during the times  in my life when I have been powerless that I have fallen to my knees crying out to my Saviour.

I have learned that I can’t lean on myself or my husband or even my pastor.  I must trust and confide in the Lord.  I have found that when I am sharing a part of my testimony with others that I delight in the hardships, insults and difficulties that I have been through.  For it was through those difficult times, when I was at my weakest place in life, that I became strong!  It was God and all His Glory that shined through!  It was His power that was made perfect during my times of weakness.

Today I find myself again at the foot of the cross crying out to my Lord.  I am bare faced before my God asking for His grace to pour down upon me.  I am waiting for the phone call to tell me it is time to bring Baby “B” to his new home.  My mind had been consumed with worries.  Will they get up with him at night to comfort him?  Will they smother him with kisses?  Will they smile at him and tell him how much he is loved?

My heart aches and my mind slips into places it shouldn’t go.  I am engrossed with negative thoughts.  But this morning during my quiet time with God, He showed me how wrong I was.  I was not putting my trust in the Lord.  So this morning, I prayed over Baby “B”.  I prayed that God’s angels would be around him always.  I prayed that God would keep him safe and make him feel loved.  I gave it all back to God.

It wasn’t mine to take in the first place.  Baby “B” was our assignment from God for this very short portion of his life.  He will not remember us, but we will remember him.  We will continue to lift him up in prayer knowing that God is in control.  Yes, it will hurt when we finally get the call, but it is through my hurt and broken heart that my weakness turns into strength.  God is so big!  His grace is all I need to get through this time of difficulty.  God’s power will be made great!

I encourage you today to not let all your hardships, trials, weaknesses, and difficulties pull you down.  God will cover you with His grace and through your weaknesses you will be made strong!  Turn your eyes heavenward, knowing that your Heavenly Father is with you and His grace is pouring down over you!  Close your eyes and lift up your hands to Him and feel His grace raining down on you!  Be strong in the Lord!

Lord, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.  I thank you for your grace, for it is sufficient for me.  Give me strength like you did for Paul.  Help me to keep my eyes focused on You.  I trust in You, oh Lord.  For you are my rock!  Help me not to worry, for You are in control.    Though I am weak, You will make me strong!  I love you, Lord!  Amen.

I apologize for not updating everyone on our adoption process.  I haven’t updated because there hasn’t been anything to report.  The boys case has not gone to court as we had hoped.  I spoke with Seide this morning…sort of.  Had a difficult time getting a good connection and it kept disconnecting.  From what I was able to make out, she thinks it will go to court at the end of the month.  But I am not going to get too excited.  I have sent her numerous emails, but not sure if she is receiving them or not.  They have to go to internet cafes in order to check email and that cost money, which is something they don’t have a lot of.

Please continue to pray for this entire process.  Russ says it will all happen in God’s time and the boys will be here when the timing is right!  I know he is right.  I can tend to get anxious at times and need to be patient and wait on God.  I hear his voice telling me to be patient and to sit back and let Him do His work.  That is what I must do.

I am sorry that I don’t have any good news to report at this time.  Hopefully in the near future….

“Into your hand I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth (vs31).  I trust in the Lord.  I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.  You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place.  Be merciful to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief.  My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak (vs 6-10).  Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord (vs 24).   You are my hiding place; You will protect me from trouble and surrond me with songs of deliverance (vs 7).  [T]he Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in Him (vs 10).  [I] wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield.  In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name.  May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you (vs 20-22).  (Taken from Psalm 31, 32, 33)

Oh Lord, I put my hope in You.  I trust in you with all my heart.  I cry out to you as my heart aches.  I have longings in my heart that I do not understand.  You have placed so many beautiful children on my heart and I am uncertain in what my role is to be.  For so long I have prayed for just one more baby.  One more precious baby.  I can not let my heart completely go for I am afraid.  I am afraid that my heart will break in two.  I feel ashamed that I even ask you.  You have blessed me with so much, yet I ask, “What if?”

He fits so perfectly in my arms.  His precious little body.  He has started life out so hard.  He is a fighter, Lord.  I know that you have special plans for him.  But does it include me?  Does it include my family?  I want to know, Lord!  My heart aches.  I have a deep longing inside of me.

You have prepared my heart from the beginning to desire a large family.  You have given me compassion for children whom were not born of my own flesh and blood.  Lord, I am so scared.  He is temporary.  But I want to make him my own.  I want him to be born of my heart.  I want you to birth him in me!

But you gave him life in another mommy’s womb.  She has desires, too.  Does she cry out to you?  Does she truly love him as I do?  She has made him have to be a fighter.  From the womb he came to this world already struggling with drug addiction.  Then he continued to struggle as he was put into a home where he does not understand the violence that is around him.  I know she loves him.  I know she wants to do better for him.  I know that I should lift her up to you, Lord, for she is lost.  She is consumed with self gratification.  She is torn by her emotions as well.  She wants to be a good mommy, but doesn’t know how.

Lord, you know that I have prayed for her.  I have prayed for her precious baby boy.  I know that he is not mine…but I want to be selfish and ask for him.  Who am I to even ask?  So here I am before you.  Not understanding the feelings I have inside of me.  This is me, Lord, your daughter, Sonya.  I am crying out to you and asking you to help me.  Help me to understand my feelings.  I hear you say to me, “Give your whole heart to this baby I have placed in your arms.”  But how can I, Lord?  I am so afraid.  It hurts too much when they take him away.  I know this baby does not fill any voids that I may have in my life.  I know that you are my heart’s desire.  But I have a longing to call this one my own.

I give each of my precious little ones to you, Lord.  They are all yours.  You honor me by allowing me to parent each of them.  Whether it is the honor of parenting them for a life time or only for the short time that you have placed them with me.  I must be obedient to you and give this one, just like the others, my whole heart.  I trust you, Lord.  My hope is in you.  I know that you have a plan for this precious little one, just as you do for all my children. So whether this baby stays a month or leaves today, I know that it is in your hands and your control.  I know that you will mend this broken heart when the time comes.  I know that you will heal the wounds of this precious baby that he has experienced and may yet experience.  I know that the things that happen in his life are for a purpose and those things will mold and shape him into the man that you want him to become.  I pray that you will guide each step that our baby takes…whether it be with us or his birth family.  He is your child, Lord.  I know that you have a plan for him.

So to you, I give this precious baby.  Let me fulfill the task you have placed before me with my whole heart and nothing less.  Allow me to be a good and faithful servant to the things that you ask of me….even when I don’t understand or can’t see the outcome.  I must fix my eyes upon things that I can not see!  I love you, Lord.  Thank you for using this vessel in ways that you see fit.  Thank you for being my Daddy and allowing me to give my heart to you. Thank you for allowing me to dance before you, captivated by your love.

“You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.  O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever,” (Psalm 30:11-12).

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18

There are so many things that I see in front of me and all around me that get me side tracked from the things that I can not see.  Media and advertising tell us we have to have all these things that we can see right now.  “Its the best deal out there, but you have to buy it now.”  “If you want to fit in with the rest of society, you need to have this ______.”  “Everyone’s partying!  Why should you be any different?”  “Its ok to look, as long as you don’t touch.”  It all comes down to self gratification versus self control.

The things of this world are only temporary.  Life with my Heavenly Father is eternal!  We are to act as the salt of the earth.  As followers of Christ we should stand out from the crowd.  Without salt, there would be no flavor.  Food would taste bland.  So I choose to add a little spice to this world by being different.  I’m ok with that.  I want Jesus’ light to shine through me.  I want to stand out from the crowd.  I don’t want to be known as a “Sunday Christian.” 

So in order for me to do that, I have to fix my eyes Heavenward.  It is not always easy.  There are some days when I totally miss the assignments that God has given me for the day because I was too focused on the the things I could see right in front of me.  The things that Satan would love for me to keep my focus on so that my thoughts will be pulled away from my Heavenly Father.  Paul speaks about having self control and about training our bodies like an athlete.  Always pushing forward toward a goal that we can not see.

I have to be disciplined in my daily walk with my precious Saviour.  I must always strive to keep my eyes fixed on Him.  I must put much effort into walking with God.  I must constantly train myself.  I must dive into His word so that I can keep focused!  I can be the spice of life while I walk here on Earth.  My time is short here, so I must keep an eternal perspective. 

I challenge you today to ask yourself, “Where are my eyes fixed?”  Don’t miss out on being the spice of life and walking close with Jesus.  Fix your eyes upon Him!  Its ok to be different!

Just a quick note…Baby “B”’s testing turned out well.  He does not have shaken baby syndrome!  I think he gets over stimulated easily.  He is so precious.  It is hard not to get attached to him.  We will deeply miss him when he goes.  It has been so much fun having a baby in the house!  Please pray for Baby “B” as his court date is Monday and Tuesday of this week.  Please pray that the judge will make wise decisions and have much discernment.  So many times these kids get lost in the system.  I have been praying over our precious baby.  I know God will watch over him.  Thank you for your prayers!

“The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.  You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.” Isaiah 58:9

These past view days I have not felt like a well-watered garden.  Outside the sun is smoldering.  I think we could fry an egg on the sidewalk.  My internal spring feels like it has hit rock bottom.  I am lacking in sleep and time.  Unfortunately, I have not been able to give God my first every morning.  Because of that, I feel as if my world is caving in around me.  I feel like David when he was hiding in the cave crying out to God.  “Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God.  Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer,” (Psalm 4:1). 

I have been pulled away from my beautiful family quite a bit this week.  I had a visit with Baby “B”’s birth mother on Monday.  That was quite the emotional roller coaster.  I couldn’t do anything right for her baby.  Everything I did upset this woman.  I felt like I was on the prosecution stand.  But God was with me.  I read His word before I went in and He shielded me from the accusations of this woman telling me I was a horrible mother.

Then yesterday I had to take Baby “B” to the doctor because social services was concerned about his tremors.  Well, that turned into an all day event.  Of course our precious baby did nothing while we were at the doctors office.  So then the doctor starts questioning me to see if I am an “experienced” mother and if I know what I am talking about.  What is it with everyone questioning me and my ability to be a mother?

Needless to say, precious Baby “B” is on his way to Charlotte this morning to be admitted to the hospital for neurological testing.  They are checking to see if he possibly has shaken baby syndrome.  This is in question because of his former home life.  Social services picked him up this morning and I will be going up this afternoon to stay with him for the night at the hospital.

Then to top all of that, my precious Aubrey lost a tooth yesterday.  She faithfully put her tooth under her pillow hoping to wake to find the “gold” coin.  She came to me this morning with tears in her eyes.  The tooth fairy had forgotten to bring her “gold” coin.  I had thought about it last night and that was all I had done.  So this morning I awake feeling like a horrible mother.  I was able to cover for the tooth fairy and slipped the coin under another pillow.  I asked her if she had checked under all her pillows.  So she went back in and discovered the tooth fairy tricked her and put the coin under a different pillow!

With all that has been going on, even my dear husband has unintentionally been placed on the back burner.  Sometimes I try to juggle too much and then I fall completely apart.  This has been one of those times.  My internal spring is about dry and I am spread too thin.  Something has to change.   I know my priorities need to be God, husband and children.  Sometimes it is hard for me to say “no” to things and I get too much going on and then my priorities aren’t my priorities any more. 

So for now, I draw a line.  The only things at the top are God, my husband and my children.  Baby “B” is a part of our family and needs a lot of love right now.  I have a lot of little mamas in the house who absolutely adore him, along with a few little daddy’s!  I need to need to feel like a well watered garden once more! 

Lord, water this wilted planted.  Help my roots to grow deep so that I may never feel dry again.  Help me to feel like a beautiful flower in the spring!  Guide my daily steps and help me to choose my priorities with much care.  Fill me up with you, Lord!

Greetings all!  We received a call from social services yesterday.  We have a foster care baby in our home.  We are not sure for how long…it may just be until Tuesday when his case goes to court.  He is beautiful.  He is 3 months old, but looks like a newborn.  He tested positive for drugs at birth and is having some withdrawal symptoms now…tremors.  He is so sweet.  He actually slept through the night last night.  I think he is just exhausted.  Please pray for Baby “B”.  I am not sure what his future holds, but for now, we get to love on him and say lots of prayers over him.  I know it will be hard when he leaves, but for now he is in a house full of children who are enjoying playing “baby” with him!  He is a beautiful blessing from above!

Here is the latest news from our Liberian loop.  This is a copy of an email I received:

I recently talked with my friend in Liberia who had her visa
interviwew today, and our agency also updated us. This is the
latest. (I realize that things change very quickly in the adoption
world, and the whole thing is very confusing to me. It’s different
than anything I have ever experienced!)

Things are up and running. There are policy procedural changes, how
those affect timelines are yet to be determined, but so far things
have actually not slowed down for our agency. The new lady is only
there until 12/o7, but she is supposedly very nice, she is just doing
things her way, which is different than the previous gentleman.

This is the information I have received, it may be different than
what other agencies are hearing. I personally have to cling to this
info right now because the emotional roller coaster yesterday about
gave me a heart attack. I think an adopting woman is just as
emotional as a pregnant woman :)!

I hope this helps. It definitely helped me when I heard all this.
Maybe I will get to travel sometime in September like I hoped. I am
still praying!

We are still far from traveling at this point.  Please continue to pray for our boys!