Responding In Faith

Precious Jeremiah has spiked another fever.  We will be calling the doctor first thing Monday morning.  According to the medication instructions, symptoms of the Malaria were supposed to disappear after 48  hours.  Well, they haven’t.  Today he has been experiencing fever, upset stomach and dizziness.  But I can’t keep him down!  After the motrin kicks in, he wants to be outside with the others.  He seems to be in a cycle with his fevers.  If anyone knows much about malaria, I would appreciate any comments to whether this is normal!  It is hard on a mommy to care for her precious child when he is holding in all his pain.  Such a strong boy for only seven!  My heart is aching for him because he has been the one in the most pain.  Please pray for my brave little boy!

I recently came across a website promoting a book entitled There Is No Me Without You written by Melissa Fay Greene.

Melissa’s new book There Is No Me Without You is about Haregewoin Teferra, a foster mother in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, and the AIDS orphans she has raised.

I have not read this book, but plan to put it on my list of books to read.  Mrs. Greene herself is an adoptive mother.  As I went through her website and read about her personal story, I was very much drawn in.  She refers to the following book:

THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO FOREIGN ADOPTION by Dr. Barbara Bascom.

Again, this is not a book that I have read, but it looks like a very good reader for those who are planning on any foreign adoption.  As Mrs. Green states on her site, this book does not paint a pretty picture.  It doesn’t give an image of the “perfect little adoption”.  It gives facts.  Facts that many adoptive parents should be made aware of in order to have a successful adoption.  The book discusses what to expect when you come home and have medical testing completed and what is likely to show up in the blood work…TB, malaria, hepatitis…It discusses the effects of institutionalized living, reactive attachment issues, etc.

Many people go into adoptions with rose colored glasses on.  Not prepared for what is going to happen….life.  This is an ongoing issue with any adoption.  Lack of preparation.  My friend Angel just recently posted a very well written article on Liberian adoptions and the lack of understanding.  (You can link to her blog in the sidebar…Dan and Angel Rutledge).

It breaks my heart to hear about so many disruptions that occur when families make the decision to adopt and have not prepared themselves.  Russell and Anthony met a little girl on this trip.  A little girl that arrived at the orphanage the same day they did.  Unlike Russell and Anthony, this was not this little girl’s first trip to the Dixville Orphanage.  This would be her second.  You see, five years ago, at the age of seven, this little girl had been adopted by an American family.  They had her escorted over, so they never really saw where she came from.

I don’t know the whole story.  My intentions are not to judge the family.  But after being in the US for five years, they decided to send her back to the orphanage. Why did this have to happen?  Was it because of lack of preparing themselves for this adoption?  Why did they have to send her back to the orphanage?  How will this affect a young girl at the age of 12?

I just can’t stop thinking about this precious jewel.  Russ said she cried the whole way back to the orphanage.  I imagine she was devastated.  Culture shock the first time around.  Hell the second.  Going from having nothing, to everything and then back to nothing.  There is no lesson there for this child.  Only deep hurt.  Wounds that will be rooted so deeply she may or may not recover.  My heart aches.  I feel her pain.

Adoption is not an easy journey.  It is a journey that involves educating yourself.  It is a journey that is difficult but oh so rewarding.  It is a journey where sometimes love is not enough.  It is a journey that keeps you at the foot of the cross.  Praying each day for strength for not only yourself, but also your child.

In my morning reading this a.m., I was reading from the book of Acts 16.  Verses 22-26 stuck out this morning.  It is the passage about Paul and Silas in Prison: 

The crowd joined in the attack against Paul and Silas, and the magistrates ordered them to be stripped and beaten.  After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully.  Upon receiving such orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks.  About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them.  Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken.  At once all the prison doors flew open and everybody’s chains came loose. (NIV)

Through all of their trials and beatings, Paul and Silas still were able to sing hymns to God!  They didn’t curse God, they worshiped Him!  Their journey was a difficult one, but they endured and pushed forward.  They endured what they went through and then they were able to experience joy.  My Fruit of the Spirit  Bible has an interesting commentary in it.  It states:  “We can trace the journey from trial to joy in this way:  First, we face the trial.  Second, God enables us with power beyond ourselves.  Third, we trust and win - or at least we survive.  Fourth, we praise the Lord.” (page 1314)

Adoption is a life time commitment.  It is not something to take likely.  I know that there are families that carry a very heavy trial with adoptions that have been more difficult then they ever dreamed of.  I know there a families and individuals that are experiencing trials in their lives that they never asked for.  If only you can endure like Paul and Silas.  Lean on the Lord.  Sometimes it is not about us understanding the “why” behind the trial.  It is just a matter of enduring the trial, allowing God to enable us, trusting and praising.

Russ left Daniel in Liberia ensuring him that he would be back to bring him home.  Russ tried to convey to him that there is no me without you.  

This is the image God wants us to have as well!  Without God we are incomplete.  We do not exist without Him.  We can not face the trials or the journey without Him.

Lord, help me to understand that there is no me without You.  Help me to endure each trial that comes my way so that I may be able to triumph through that trial and find strength only through You.  Help me to experience the joy that comes at the end.  I may not understand the journey that I am on, but I know that I am not on this journey alone.  Give me strength Lord for I am weak!

Not only are our boys experiencing many firsts, but we as a family are experiencing many firsts! I learned very quickly that I must have rice at EVERY meal! As long as I serve whatever it is we are having with rice, then they will eat it!

Tonight we had tacos. I thought maybe the boys would put their rice on their taco shells and then add their meat and cheese. I used a slotted spoon to separate the meat from the extra taco juice. I asked Samuel to put the meat on the table and he looked in the pan with all the taco juice (I guess that is what you would call it!). “Mom. Soup. Rice.” So I dumped the flavored taco liquid into a bowl. Each of the boys took some of the “soup”, added some rice, a huge spoon full of meat, some cheese and some salsa cheese and mixed it all up. Taco Soup anyone?

There is definitely a language barrier. Sometimes I don’t think they are speaking English. One of our dear friends and her children were over today. Her little boy, who is seven, proclaimed to his mom, “The little boys speak Spanish. Even the big one speaks Spanish.” I don’t quite think it is Spanish. Maybe some form of Liberian dialect. We have a lot of pointing to things. I guess they are probably thinking that it is easier to point then for mommy to ask them to slow down with what they are saying so that I can understand them.

Today we practiced American English. They point.  I say a sentence.  They repeat.  The boys think it is silly, but it helps me to hear their voices and to understand what they are saying!  We are going to do this same thing with picture books this week.  Looking at pictures and saying what we see!  Should be fun!

As I sit and think about all the rice I have been making over this past week, I keep wondering whether or not they will get tired of it.  I guess when that has been your main staple for your whole life, it brings comfort to eat it.  I don’t think these boys would ever complain about the food as long as they have rice to go with it.  I guess I will be heading over to Sams Club to get a 50 pound bag of rice!  Rice in the morning, noon and night, keeps their tummies filled just right!