Responding In Faith

I was recently reading the history of the Wailing Wall. I found it interesting to read that every Friday the Jews go to the Wailing Wall, pressing their lips against the wall, wailing to God about their fallen state. The cries are loud cries of utter anguish. Cries that could be heard by God from His people. Cries that go up hoping to be answered. Prayers written down and pushed into the cracks of the wall. A hope for the hurting.

I believe the Wailing Wall has moved from Jerusalem to my house! I truly believe that Jeremiah could probably out wail all of them. We have had several recent events that have involved wailing. Jeremiah’s wailing is long, loud and sometimes destructive! It is a hard time to get through, but once he is done, he is okay and life goes on like nothing ever happened.

We have made one observation. Jeremiah still gets headaches. If he goes to bed with a headache, he will wake up the next morning and we can pretty much count on something…anything…setting him off. Saturday was one of his last “fits”. I tried to settle him down and talk to him about using his words and expressing how he feels. Nothing was working. I walked out of the room probably for about 6 minutes tops. Within those six minutes, he managed to dump out every toy in the room, throw all of the matching outfits out of the three cubbies hanging in the closet and throw out all the matched up pajamas that were hanging on the door cubby. I had just spent the first part of my morning matching up outfits for the three boys in that room and placing them neatly in each of their cubbies. Needless to say, we worked together after the “fit” was over and cleaned up every bit of it.

The headaches seem to be around every other day to every two days. It can make for a long week. We are not really sure if he is in pain or he is just out right angry! This week we are taking him to a specialist in Charlotte. I am hoping we can get more answers by the end of the week. Joel doesn’t have hardly any tantrums any more. Samuel still pouts on occasion, but is getting better. Jeremiah, well, Jeremiah is just beautiful. Once he is done, he is the most lovable child in this house. Did I mention he has actually given me two hugs in the past week!

To me, Jeremiah wails like they probably do at the wailing wall. His cries are loud and they seem to be out of utter anguish. He is trying so desperately to find his place and his voice in this world. So much to overwhelm him. So much hurt inside. Wounds that I may never truly understand. Hurts that may take years to get over. A disease in his body that is making him ever so tired.

Oh, to have the freedom to wail like my precious Jeremiah. There are times during the day when I would love to just wail. Just to cry out for my Lord to hear me! Oh, to be like Jabez and to cry out to God:

1 Chronicles 4:10 Jabez cried out to the God of Israel , “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request. (NIV)

It is okay to cry out to God in deep anguish when we are hurting physically, emotionally or spiritually. We are seeking God’s attention to deliver us. We must look up to God and not down upon ourselves. Satan can so easily sway us to look inward instead of upward. We can become so inward focused that we blind ourselves to everything around us. Jabez cried from deep within his heart and God heard his cry. God will hear our cries, too. But we have to cry out to him. The book of Psalm is full of verses crying out to God.

Psalm 142:1-3a I cry aloud with my voice to the Lord; I make supplication with my voice to the Lord. I pour out my complaint before Him; I declare my trouble before Him. When my spirit was overwhelmed with me, Thou didst know my path.

God hears our heart’s cries. He loves us. Verse seven goes on to state: Bring my soul out of prison, so that I may give thanks to Thy name; The righteous will surround me, For Thou wilt deal bountifully with me. I imagine my Jeremiah feels imprisoned by his emotions right now. Just now learning at the age of seven that it is okay to have emotions. There are days when I feel like my soul is imprisoned. Satan knows how to manipulate my thoughts and make me second guess everything. But with faith in my Lord I can conquer that. I can be released if I choose to cry out to God. My faith only has to be the size of a mustard seed. That’s it. A tiny, little mustard seed. If I have faith when I cry out to my God, He will hear me.

Will He answer immediately like He did with Jabez? Maybe…maybe not. It is in God’s time and not ours. But God does hear our cries. I love how The Message translates this in Psalm 103:6-18:

6-18 God makes everything come out right;
he puts victims back on their feet.
He showed Moses how he went about his work,
opened up his plans to all Israel.
God is sheer mercy and grace;
not easily angered, he’s rich in love.
He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold,
nor hold grudges forever.
He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve,
nor pay us back in full for our wrongs.
As high as heaven is over the earth,
so strong is his love to those who fear him.
And as far as sunrise is from sunset,
he has separated us from our sins.
As parents feel for their children,
God feels for those who fear him.
He knows us inside and out,
keeps in mind that we’re made of mud.
Men and women don’t live very long;
like wildflowers they spring up and blossom,
But a storm snuffs them out just as quickly,
leaving nothing to show they were here.
God’s love, though, is ever and always,
eternally present to all who fear him,
Making everything right for them and their children
as they follow his Covenant ways
and remember to do whatever he said.

Oh, my God is so good. I can wail to Him and He will hear me. I can tremble before Him, broken and torn and He will comfort me because He loves me. God hears Jeremiah’s cries, too. He comforts him in ways that I will never know. But He does comfort him. I see it on his face when his wailing is done. Maybe there is a lesson for me in Jeremiah’s wailing. Jeremiah does what I so often long to do…cry out to God with all my heart. Our “Wailing Wall” will probably be up for some time. We are learning together. Walking another step each day in our walk of faith. Crying out to God for strength in my times of weakness!

Lord, I thank You for hearing my cries. I love you so much. You are my strength when I am weak. Bless me, Oh Lord, and enlarge my territory. Let your hand be with me , and keep me from harm so that I might be free from pain. Amen.