Responding In Faith

Last year I attended the She Speaks Conference put on by Proverbs 31 Ministry.  It was the most amazing conference I have ever been to.  I signed up for the writers’ track.  I learned so much.  I had great hopes of attending again this year, but due to financial restraints with house projects and Daniel’s adoption, my heart is sad that this will not be the year that I return.  The entire experience was wonderful.  I felt like a queen the entire weekend as I was pampered in every area.  The hotel was simply wonderful; the food was devine; and the conference…well, words cannot even begin to describe it.

I had big plans of starting a book project, but found that life took priority over that.  I have enjoyed writing my blog and have actually felt  led and inspired to do so.  I hope one day to pursue my writing more intensely, but at the current moment I am still searching and praying for God’s direction.  I did recently get approached about being involved in a ministry that is hoping to have its jump start this summer.  I felt very honored to be asked and am praying about my level of involvement with it.  I would get to speak about adoption and educating people about what to expect when adopting children.  This has truly been my heart’s cry as I ache deep inside every time I hear about a disruption.  I have felt called to speak, but have really just waited for God to open the door.  So I hope that this will be the beginning of something wonderful!

It amazes me the journeys that God takes us on in this life when we are willing to say yes to the Lord!  I have written about this on several times and cannot stress enough how important it is to be willing to say yes.  Sometimes it can feel a bit scary and anxiety can set in.  But then I remember that God will not give me more then I can handle.  One thing I have learned is that it so important to pray and seek God’s counsel before making any decisions.  It is also wise to have friends pray with and for you.  Each day I act on faith.  There are times when I begin to stumble and backslide.  It is during those times that I seek counsel from one of my girlfriends!

I have several girlfriends that are my accountability partners.  They are there for me when I am struggling and always seem to have the right words to set me straight!  (Thanks Jennifer, Melissa, Stacey and Kelly!  I love you guys!)  These are girls who…well, I need to borrow a phrase Lysa TerKeurst taught me, they tell me in one form or another to “put my big girl panties on.”   They pray those thoughts that Satan shot at me with his bow and arrow right out of my head.  They help me to regain my strength to hold up my shield of faith once again so I can fight back!  These ladies are my prayer partners and I am honored that they humble themselves before God right along with me!

I really moped and pouted for several days when I realized that I couldn’t go to my conference this year.  Even if I had the money, the hotel is booked.  That was part of the whole experience.  It is kind of like the icing on the cake.  And now the conference is completely sold out.  So I know now that it is just not meant to be.  I’m over my disappointment.  It wasn’t something that was supposed to happen this year. I do feel a sense of sadness as a weekend away would be so nice.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my family very much, but a mom’s weekend away once or twice a year is very refreshing for a mother’s soul!

There maybe something else that God has in store for me this year.  I will wait patiently and see where God leads me!  Hmmm….Waiting patiently.  That is so hard for me.  Sometimes I can be so anxious.  I have gotten better over the years, but still at times tend to fall back on that anxiety.  But I continue to push forward and fight those anxious thoughts.  God is leading the way, not me!  I am so glad that He is in the driver’s seat!  I would definitely have crashed many times if I were the driver!  God is so good to me.

Well, I hope you don’t mind me just sharing my thoughts out loud.  I guess you wouldn’t be reading this if you did! 

Lord, sometimes You say yes and sometimes you say no to the things we ask for.  Thank You for being such a wonderful Father to me and guiding my every day…my every hour…my every minute…and my every moment.  Thank You for taking a moment just for me.  So many voices that cry up to You each day, but yet You take that moment just for me.  I love you Daddy!  Thank You for giving me friends to partner up with as prayer warriors.  Thank You for my loving family.   Thank You for Your word that fills me up each day.  Thank You for the moments that we have together.  Amen.