Responding In Faith

Hey everyone. I am still here. We have just been so busy. I have been too tired to do my early morning writings. I will try to post again soon!

Also, I have fixed my Prayer Request page. You can now add your prayer requests on there. I hope that we can all become prayer partners together! The power of prayer is an awesome thing!!!

Ok. I’m a little late getting this up. My life has been a bit crazy lately…imagine that with 10 kids!! But I am still alive and still ever present! My mother’s day was special as always. My older kiddos made me breakfast in bed. Do you know how many years a mom waits for that? It seems like an extra special treat when the kids can do it all by themselves because you know that their whole hearts were in it! My sweet Hannah made sure I got eggs that were sunny side up with a slice of toast because she knows I always sacrifice having eggs the way I want them because everyone else in the house likes scrambled eggs!

I love being a mom to many precious children. But on Mother’s Day I can’t help but let my heart pour out to the birth moms of many of my children. Some of the birth mom’s had their children physically removed from them because they were deemed unfit to take care of their children. Other birth mom’s put it all on the line to sacrifice for their children because they knew they needed something better.

The birth mom’s that had their children removed from them felt like a great injustice had been done to them. I don’t know the whole story on why each child was removed, but I do know that neglect and abuse were the main factors. It is hard to look at the birth moms and not feel a sense of mix emotion. The mother side of you becomes very torn. How would I feel if my children were “ripped” from my arms? How would I feel if I had to sign papers that terminated my rights to be my child’s parent? How would I feel if I knew I was hugging my child for the last time? But then the other side of being a mom kicks in…How can a person neglect and abuse such a precious child? On Mother’s Day I especially think of these moms because I know that they must have a lot of pain in their hearts and in their lives. They probably think of all the things they could have done differently or wanted to be able to do differently. Mother’s Day is probably a very painful day for them.

Then we have the second group of moms. The moms that specifically sought out to find a loving home for their children because they knew that they couldn’t provide for the needs of the child. These moms sacrificed everything for their children. On the outside it may look as if the mom has put up a wall and has no emotional or physical connection for their child, but behind the wall is a mom who loves her child so much that she is willing to give it all away for the better of the child…even if it means never seeing their child again.

We keep in contact with Austin’s birth mother. She is one that falls into the second group of moms. She knew that she couldn’t provide for Austin in the way that she thought was best for her son. She had been a child of the system. She grew up never having a “forever family.” She was one of the kids that got stuck in the system. Her pain was deep and she couldn’t give to Austin what he so desperately needed. So being a good mom, she sought after what she thought was best for her son. That path led her to us. She called me once and told me that she thought she was the worst mom in the world. I told her other wise. I told her that in my book she was a great mom because she wanted something better for her son.

Our Liberian children’s mother is in that same category. She wanted her boys to have a better life. She wanted them to become educated. She wanted them to have all their needs met. One recent conversation on the telephone brought tears to my eyes. The boys’ uncle asked Samuel if he had started school yet. Samuel had told him yes. The response was, “We are so proud of you. Study hard. Learn all you can. Make something of yourself.” When Russell met their grandmother, she too was so excited for the boys because they would be the first generation to receive an education. Russell had thought that their mother had seemed distant. I believe that she had to put a wall up around her heart. I truly believe that she loves them deeply, but had to shield that love because she wanted something better for her boys.

Such sacrificial love from both of these moms! Some people have asked me, “How could a mom give up such beautiful children?” I understand the hearts of these women. I will always remain deeply connected to them. For they brought life to my boys. They sacrificed for their children so that they could have what they felt would be a better life.

Look at what our Heavenly Father sacrificed for each of us. He sacrificed His one and only Son so that we might live! God gave us life through Jesus. For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him, will not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16 What an awesome gift for all of humanity.  Jesus knew His purpose, to be the sacrificial Lamb.  Jesus loved walking the earth.  He loved the people.  He loved the children.  He chose to follow His Father’s plan even when Satan gave Him an out.  Jesus sacrificed all that He loved for each of us.

So when I look at Mother’s Day, I see a very sacrificial kind of love from the birth moms who have entrusted me with their children.  I also feel a deep pain for them as they are feeling a sense of loss.  I also thank God for how He has entrusted me to be a Mom Of Many!

Lord, I thank you for the birth moms of all my children on this special day.  I ask that You would heal the wounds…the deep wounds of the loss of their children.  I pray that You will offer them healing.  I pray that each will come to know You.  I thank You for giving Your only Son to us so that we will one day be in Heaven with You.  Thank You for loving me and giving me the honor to raise all of my beautiful children.

On Sunday, our pastor had a wonderful sermon taken from 1 Thessalonians 2.  Pastor Chuck challenged us in thinking about what our purpose in life is.  It came down to our purpose is to please God and not man or society.  We were challenged with the following questions:  Are you living your life in a way that God would see worthy?  Are you embarrassing God?  Are you breaking the heart of God?  Are you living for the world?

So many times we put our life in a box, actually two boxes.  We have our box for the world and we have our box for Christ.  Depending on the situation, that will decide which box you live your life out of.  In some ways, it is a matter of convenience.  Many times we get sucked into the mind set of wondering how the world will view us instead of wondering how God will view us.

Pastor Chuck had brought up an interesting point in how we can begin a pattern.  We may notice that we are doing something wrong and of a sinful nature, we repent, try to do right and then fall back into the same practices again.  Again, we realize that we have fallen back into that same frame of mind and start that cycle all over again until at last, our hearts become calloused to our sin and we stop asking for forgiveness and give into a worldly desire.

Pastor Chuck had left us with this:  Do the hard thing; do what you need to do to stand for Christ!  I love that.  I have tried very hard to live the life that God has wanted me to live.  I am in no way perfect and many times I fall, but God is always there beside me to lift me back up and encourage me to keep moving heavenward.

In mine and Russell’s lives, God has asked us to focus on children.  Not just biological children, but abandoned and orphaned children.  He has asked us to raise a quiver full.  This has not been an easy thing.  It is totally against what society says we should do.  Society says to have 2.5 children or none at all.  Society says to focus on self.  Society says your crazy if you want to have a large family.  Society says that family is not important.

We have learned over the years that we are not pleasing to the world.  We can even be not pleasing to family because they don’t see the vision that God has given us.  People have challenged our thoughts and our actions.  We have been accused of being “over religious” and “over zealous”.  Yes, I have been told that I am crazy.  But I have gotten past all of that.  All of that comes from the world.

I am learning with each day how important it is to stand up for God and to focus my life on what His will is for me and not what the world’s will is for me.  1 Thessalonians 2: 4 says this:  On the contrary, we speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel.  We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts. God has entrusted each of us with the gospel.  He entrusts us so that we may share the good news that we have a living God!  And in this, we walk through our life trying to please God and not the world.

It is not an easy road to take.  Not many will take it.  It is so important to become deeply rooted in Christ so that when the world attacks our actions, we will not fall.  But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.  He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.  It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.  It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.  Jeremiah 17:7-8

When we become deeply rooted in Christ, it becomes easier to to stand up for Him.  When we become deeply rooted in Christ, it becomes easier to hear and know God’s will for your life.  I encourage you today to ask yourself the hard questions.  Are you living for the world or are you living for God?

Dear Heavenly Father, allow me to breath deeply today and breath You in deeply into my soul.  Allow me to hear Your calling on my life.  Help me to be able to stand firm in my faith for You tell me in Your Word that if I do not stand firm in my faith, I do not stand at all.  Allow me to become so deeply rooted in You, that when I experience times of drought, I am still able to bear Your fruit.  I love You, Daddy.

Family Reunion 1947, originally uploaded by See El Photo.

We have out grown our family table. When we had originally bought our table, we had truly thought it would be large enough for our family plus some guests. Our Amish table is beautiful. I absolutely love it. I thought that it would be a family heirloom. But there is one problem. It will only seat 10. So now we have two tables set up in the kitchen…horizontally to one another. I dream of a table now that would seat twenty!

I really don’t like our current setup. Everyone is not around the same table. It makes my heart sad. I miss seeing everyone’s faces all at the same table. This weekend I think I will try to rearrange the tables once again. There has to be a way to connect the two of them so that we can all be together again at meals.

To some this may seem silly. But to me it is not. There is something about the entire family around one table. A unity that forms and brings us together! A time of reconnecting with one another. A moment in time when we all stop the business of our day, collect our thoughts, and commune with one another. It is a time of lifting each other up. No negative words are to be spoken.

We have a special plaque that we had made that says the following:

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.

Honor one another above yourselves.

Romans 12:10

Honor:

Treating people as special, doing more than what’s expected, and having a good attitude.

This is our reminder for ourselves that we are to honor one another. It is a reminder that the words that come from our mouths should be words that lift each other up and not tear each other down. As we go through each day, we try to remember our verse on honor. We start our morning with it when we eat our breakfast and we end our day with it as we dine upon our dinner.

Our family table is a very important part of our family. It is a place that brings us together at the beginning and end of each day. So for now, I will have to settle for two separate tables, but one day we will have our table that seats twenty! And who knows, maybe it will be filled with all our children!

Lord, I thank You for all the beautiful blessings that I have around our family table. I thank You for allowing our family to continue to grow both through biological and adopted children. In my heart they have all been born from me…they have all been born in my heart. I thank you for the reminders that You give us in Your word to be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Thank you for allowing us to start and end each day together as a family. Amen.

Aphenphosmphobia. What is it? See if you can guess by looking at the below picture:

Aphenphosphobia is the fear of being touched. If you look at the picture closely, you notice that the sharp end of the nails are pointing outward. It is as if the person is trying to be a porcupine. Almost a self defense mechanism to ward people off. As crazy as the word looks, it is actually a word.

I believe I have a child in my house that has Aphenphosphobia. No, I am not a psychiatrist or even a doctor of any sort. I’m just a mom who is making observations about her child. I’m really not looking to label my child either. The word just sounded pretty cool and added immensely to my vocabulary! But honestly, I believe that one of my children suffers with the idea of being touched in a loving manner.

I can count on one hand the number of hugs that I have received from my precious Jeremiah. Three. He doesn’t give them out easily and he doesn’t receive them easily either. I really don’t think it is matter of him not wanting hugs. When I ask him, he says he would like one, but he won’t come to me for it. He actually will stay put where he is at and his fragile little body becomes very stiff.

Today he was in the kitchen with me when I was making spaghetti sauce in bulk. I asked him if I could give him a hug. He gave me the quick Liberian nod for yes. I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a big hug. He was smiling, but his body was stiff as a board. I released my hug and had him turn to face me. I asked him again if he was ok with getting a hug. He smiled and gave me the quick nod. This time when I hugged him, I told him to relax his body. I told him that it was ok and that I loved him very much. Hugs aren’t supposed to be painful.

This time his body wasn’t quite as stiff. His heart rate was still racing, but he seemed more relaxed. I realized today that I need to work more with Jeremiah on this. We are going to start doing some touch therapy and move into holding therapy. We are going to start out with just rubbing lotion on each other’s hands and arms. Then we will move into just holding onto one another’s hands and being relaxed. We will slowly progress to hugging.

I’m not sure if Jeremiah has experienced much hugging. Samuel and Joel are very open to being hugged. It could be that Jeremiah has had some negative experiences. It could be a number of things. When he let’s his guard down, he actually relaxes enough to give a big hug. But like I said previously, that has only happened three times.

We will take it slow. He has been through a lot in the past three months. There has been a lot of new changes in his life. We will take it one day at a time. Baby step by baby step. I can’t complain. He has come so far in the past three weeks. He is learning to express his emotions in healthy ways. We haven’t had any more wailing. He is handling change much better. I think he is doing pretty well.

So with all of that said, I will continue to hug Jeremiah as he is comfortable. After all, God made hugs!

WHY GOD MADE HUGS.

Everyone was meant to share
God’s all-abiding love and care.
He saw that we would need to know
a way to let these feelings show.

So God made hugs - a special sign,
and symbol of His love divine,
a circle of our open arms
to hold in love and keep out harm.

One simple hug can do its part
to warm and cheer another’s heart.
A hug’s a bit of heaven above
that signifies His perfect love.

~Jim Wolf~