Responding In Faith

Aphenphosmphobia. What is it? See if you can guess by looking at the below picture:

Aphenphosphobia is the fear of being touched. If you look at the picture closely, you notice that the sharp end of the nails are pointing outward. It is as if the person is trying to be a porcupine. Almost a self defense mechanism to ward people off. As crazy as the word looks, it is actually a word.

I believe I have a child in my house that has Aphenphosphobia. No, I am not a psychiatrist or even a doctor of any sort. I’m just a mom who is making observations about her child. I’m really not looking to label my child either. The word just sounded pretty cool and added immensely to my vocabulary! But honestly, I believe that one of my children suffers with the idea of being touched in a loving manner.

I can count on one hand the number of hugs that I have received from my precious Jeremiah. Three. He doesn’t give them out easily and he doesn’t receive them easily either. I really don’t think it is matter of him not wanting hugs. When I ask him, he says he would like one, but he won’t come to me for it. He actually will stay put where he is at and his fragile little body becomes very stiff.

Today he was in the kitchen with me when I was making spaghetti sauce in bulk. I asked him if I could give him a hug. He gave me the quick Liberian nod for yes. I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a big hug. He was smiling, but his body was stiff as a board. I released my hug and had him turn to face me. I asked him again if he was ok with getting a hug. He smiled and gave me the quick nod. This time when I hugged him, I told him to relax his body. I told him that it was ok and that I loved him very much. Hugs aren’t supposed to be painful.

This time his body wasn’t quite as stiff. His heart rate was still racing, but he seemed more relaxed. I realized today that I need to work more with Jeremiah on this. We are going to start doing some touch therapy and move into holding therapy. We are going to start out with just rubbing lotion on each other’s hands and arms. Then we will move into just holding onto one another’s hands and being relaxed. We will slowly progress to hugging.

I’m not sure if Jeremiah has experienced much hugging. Samuel and Joel are very open to being hugged. It could be that Jeremiah has had some negative experiences. It could be a number of things. When he let’s his guard down, he actually relaxes enough to give a big hug. But like I said previously, that has only happened three times.

We will take it slow. He has been through a lot in the past three months. There has been a lot of new changes in his life. We will take it one day at a time. Baby step by baby step. I can’t complain. He has come so far in the past three weeks. He is learning to express his emotions in healthy ways. We haven’t had any more wailing. He is handling change much better. I think he is doing pretty well.

So with all of that said, I will continue to hug Jeremiah as he is comfortable. After all, God made hugs!

WHY GOD MADE HUGS.

Everyone was meant to share
God’s all-abiding love and care.
He saw that we would need to know
a way to let these feelings show.

So God made hugs - a special sign,
and symbol of His love divine,
a circle of our open arms
to hold in love and keep out harm.

One simple hug can do its part
to warm and cheer another’s heart.
A hug’s a bit of heaven above
that signifies His perfect love.

~Jim Wolf~