Responding In Faith

Ok. I’m a little late getting this up. My life has been a bit crazy lately…imagine that with 10 kids!! But I am still alive and still ever present! My mother’s day was special as always. My older kiddos made me breakfast in bed. Do you know how many years a mom waits for that? It seems like an extra special treat when the kids can do it all by themselves because you know that their whole hearts were in it! My sweet Hannah made sure I got eggs that were sunny side up with a slice of toast because she knows I always sacrifice having eggs the way I want them because everyone else in the house likes scrambled eggs!

I love being a mom to many precious children. But on Mother’s Day I can’t help but let my heart pour out to the birth moms of many of my children. Some of the birth mom’s had their children physically removed from them because they were deemed unfit to take care of their children. Other birth mom’s put it all on the line to sacrifice for their children because they knew they needed something better.

The birth mom’s that had their children removed from them felt like a great injustice had been done to them. I don’t know the whole story on why each child was removed, but I do know that neglect and abuse were the main factors. It is hard to look at the birth moms and not feel a sense of mix emotion. The mother side of you becomes very torn. How would I feel if my children were “ripped” from my arms? How would I feel if I had to sign papers that terminated my rights to be my child’s parent? How would I feel if I knew I was hugging my child for the last time? But then the other side of being a mom kicks in…How can a person neglect and abuse such a precious child? On Mother’s Day I especially think of these moms because I know that they must have a lot of pain in their hearts and in their lives. They probably think of all the things they could have done differently or wanted to be able to do differently. Mother’s Day is probably a very painful day for them.

Then we have the second group of moms. The moms that specifically sought out to find a loving home for their children because they knew that they couldn’t provide for the needs of the child. These moms sacrificed everything for their children. On the outside it may look as if the mom has put up a wall and has no emotional or physical connection for their child, but behind the wall is a mom who loves her child so much that she is willing to give it all away for the better of the child…even if it means never seeing their child again.

We keep in contact with Austin’s birth mother. She is one that falls into the second group of moms. She knew that she couldn’t provide for Austin in the way that she thought was best for her son. She had been a child of the system. She grew up never having a “forever family.” She was one of the kids that got stuck in the system. Her pain was deep and she couldn’t give to Austin what he so desperately needed. So being a good mom, she sought after what she thought was best for her son. That path led her to us. She called me once and told me that she thought she was the worst mom in the world. I told her other wise. I told her that in my book she was a great mom because she wanted something better for her son.

Our Liberian children’s mother is in that same category. She wanted her boys to have a better life. She wanted them to become educated. She wanted them to have all their needs met. One recent conversation on the telephone brought tears to my eyes. The boys’ uncle asked Samuel if he had started school yet. Samuel had told him yes. The response was, “We are so proud of you. Study hard. Learn all you can. Make something of yourself.” When Russell met their grandmother, she too was so excited for the boys because they would be the first generation to receive an education. Russell had thought that their mother had seemed distant. I believe that she had to put a wall up around her heart. I truly believe that she loves them deeply, but had to shield that love because she wanted something better for her boys.

Such sacrificial love from both of these moms! Some people have asked me, “How could a mom give up such beautiful children?” I understand the hearts of these women. I will always remain deeply connected to them. For they brought life to my boys. They sacrificed for their children so that they could have what they felt would be a better life.

Look at what our Heavenly Father sacrificed for each of us. He sacrificed His one and only Son so that we might live! God gave us life through Jesus. For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him, will not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16 What an awesome gift for all of humanity.  Jesus knew His purpose, to be the sacrificial Lamb.  Jesus loved walking the earth.  He loved the people.  He loved the children.  He chose to follow His Father’s plan even when Satan gave Him an out.  Jesus sacrificed all that He loved for each of us.

So when I look at Mother’s Day, I see a very sacrificial kind of love from the birth moms who have entrusted me with their children.  I also feel a deep pain for them as they are feeling a sense of loss.  I also thank God for how He has entrusted me to be a Mom Of Many!

Lord, I thank you for the birth moms of all my children on this special day.  I ask that You would heal the wounds…the deep wounds of the loss of their children.  I pray that You will offer them healing.  I pray that each will come to know You.  I thank You for giving Your only Son to us so that we will one day be in Heaven with You.  Thank You for loving me and giving me the honor to raise all of my beautiful children.